Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Introducing the crotch

I have a really bad habit. Some may not think its bad, others may find it disturbing, and a few may accuse me of being a pervert but i am well aware of my flaws and have no problem in being honest with myself (or others).

I tend to stare at men's crotch's. Sometimes i will do it consiously, other times i dont know i am doing it until a few moments go by and i realize i am doing it. The latter event is usually characterized by a glazed look. 9 times out of 10 i am daydreaming about random things not even associated with men's crotch's but for some reason my blank stare seems to attach itself to that particular region of a man.

Most commonly this happens when i am standing or sitting in a position where there is a male crotch in visual range, and it tends to be a sitting not a standing man. I do stare at standing mens crotch's on occasion. Sometimes this happens at concerts,lectures, or other "standing" event. If the crotch has bulge to it or a noticeable attribute, and i realize i am staring, there will be times i fantasize about said crotch. Underwear type, length, girth, etc.... all factor into my fantasy.

I caught myself doing this today and fantasizing on top of it all. Then (and this is rare) i started laughing uncontrollably at my imagery mainly because said crotch-staring was taking place with a known gay friend. I have never stared at his crotch before. I have never given his crotch a second thought. Today for some reason i did. I think he realized i was doing it as well because he made a comment to me later in the day regarding it. So i confessed my dirty little habit to him as i am doing here and thankfully he found it amusing. So amusing that he whipped open his pants to flash me his blue and green checkered boxer shorts!

Ok now onto my Humping!

Today is Meteorite Day commemorating the 1908 meteorite crash in Central Siberia which caused the largest explosion in recorded history. As a warm-up and in observance of Meterorite Day, using the letters E-X-P-L-O-S-I-O-N list some odd habits or quirks you have. *Note: You can use "ex" for the "x"

E -- Eats standing up. Most of my life and my professions i always have to eat on the go so i
        barely ever  sit down for a meal
X -- Experiences psychic events. I can pull some people into my dreams, make a random song
      play on the radio. And there has been instances on completely rain-free sunshiney days that
      if i am sad enough it may rain. <insert eerie music>
P -- Perversions. As you may have read above, i have some slight perversions. maybe one day i'll
        fill you in on some more.
L -- Love. I hate to steal or use a line from a song here, but i am addicted to love. There is nothing
        quite like the feeling of falling for the first time. I fall in love alot.
O -- Outspoken. This may not be odd or quirky but it is a major part to my persona. I know who i am
        i know my beliefs. I respect others but i do tend to make myself heard on certain points.
S -- Sucks Thumb. This one isn't so predominant as of late. But i can say that i will suck my thumb
        when nothing else will comfort me. I did do it habitually until i was 23 years old.
I --   Independent. Another fine line trait. This one can be harmful as well as helpful. It usually gets in
        the way of my relationships.
V -- Void of Sympathy. I am a very caring and generous person, but sympathy does not come in this
        package. I am apathetic more often than not. This seems to be a great contradiction in my personality
        or so i'm told.
E -- Extremely Energetic. Hyperactivity folks...blessing and curse.

01. You have the opportunity to make a movie with your favorite star, who would the star be and what would the title and the sub-title be? Example: Richard Dreyfuss :: Jaws :: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water

Angelina Jolie -------------Goddess-------------Epic tale of <insert my name>'s life
(what better actress to portray me than my idol?)

02. The lead story on the Eleven O'Clock News is about you ... what have you done?

Local woman arrested for appearing as a naked Statue of Liberty in a protest at the county courthouse.

03. Blue laws are absolutely ridiculous laws that are still in law books across the nation. Example: In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. Pick something that annoys the heck out of you and write the law against it.

It is unlawful to have a caps lock on your keyboard if you are under the age of 25. Additionally all persons under stated age will have a built in mandatory spell checker on all items they post into IM's, blogs, tagboards or any other publicly viewed text-based item.

04. If you were in the story Alice In Wonderland, what character would you be and why?

Well alice of course! She gets to eat all the funky candies and cakes as well as have all the attention!

05. If it did make a sound, what sound would your head make when you shake it?

I love the sound of breaking glass so i would have to say that!

My Hump:

My hump comes in many colors and textures. Sometimes you can hold my hump, other times you can just look. My hump holds both abstract and physical things. My hump can speak to you if you listen. what is my hump?

ANSWER: MY HUMP IS MY JOURNAL(S)!

Hope you enjoyed my humping!

::Miss P::

Posted at 07:48 pm by phatgirlie
(5)Laid It Down Extra Sticky

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Despair

No today is not the day for smiles
nor is it the day to sing.
It is not the day for warm embraces.
Your touch just makes me cry
Today is a day for darkness

sadness and regrets.
A day to weep for losses
tradgedies, and pain.

mascara runs.
liquid emotion painting my face
with the markings of devastation
and despair.

Nothing comforts
the delicate pain

of my loss.

These wounds shall never
heal.
All that's left is despair.

( tt 06.29.04)

Posted at 06:50 pm by phatgirlie
Lay It On Me! Extra Sticky

Monday, June 28, 2004

The Monday Blahs

Hidey hoe there campers welcome to the Monday Blahs. I'll be your lovely hostess please feel free to curse and scream as often as you like.

Now that i am back into a normal work week i've returned to dreading Mondays. Perhaps it is just this Monday for reasons that i won't gross you men out with but the ladies will understand my PAIN. Enough said. Aside from physical blahness, it was damp, dreary and rainy so on the Monday-meter this one was definately a 3. (1 being awful)

Maybe the Mambo will cheer me up some so here goes:

Using the word "Survivor" (no, not the band...you'll see in a few minutes) list some bands you like, song titles or little tidbits about yourself for us to get to know you. Have fun with it!

S----Soul Coughing! A phenomenal group who are no longer together ::cry:: they combined killer jazz and alternative beats to make great music!
U----Uh, Zoom, Zip! A killer jam by aforementioned killer band found on their Ruby Vroom LP
R----Ryan Cope aka DJ Polariz. One of my closest friends and a killer DJ. I feature some of his tunage on Phatgirlie.com. Yummy Eskimo flavored goodness.
V----Varuca Salt....just brings back some great memories.
I----Indigo Girls. My one-time roomate was obsessed with them and though they have some very poignant lyrics, i cannot stomach listening to them anymore because she played them out.
V----These v's are tricky ::puts on thinking face:: Vaseline...an all time favorite STP tune.
O----Odelay! Beck is a genius.

R----Ramenboy aka Dave Benjamin. This kid has got spicy noodle goodness for everyone. Experimental often introspective music that just slays. Check him out at Ramenfest or at SpooMusic never a disappointment!

Now it's time to Mambo like crazy. This week we're doing a "Survivor" Mambo. Let's play record executive this week. You have the choice to vote off up to 10 artists and musicians off the "Survivor --- Mambo" Island. Who would they be and why?

1. Shakira -- Girl get some voice lessons, learn how to sing properly live and then maybe just maybe you can get back in.
2. Eamon -- Just too damn bitter and that song fucking blows please god don't let this become a new musical trend!
3. Brittney Spears -- Nasal bubblegum poptart unoriginal music turned Nasal bubblegum sluttart unoriginal music.
4. Christina Aguliera -- Granted this girl can belt out a tune but she always tends to overemphasize (ever hear her christmas album?) The major fact that she made the list is that she tried to be a "madonna" for the new millenium and she just comes off as a whore with no class. Madonna set standards and no one will do the things she did! Take a bath Christina!
5. Kelly Osbourne -- No girl you cannot sing, you only got a deal because of daddy. Go into fashion it suits you better.
6. Ricky Martin -- Go shake your bon bon on some other damn island!
7. Puff Daddy or P. Diddy or whatever he calls himself these days. Granted he is a great producer he needs to keep his whack ass off the songs and stop making solo records.
8. Tatu -- All the things she said all the things she said....need i say more?
9. Stryper -- Pure 80's YUCK!
10. Mariah Carey -- She had it in the early days, now she just lost it. Get off my island biatch!

There you have it folks my mambo madness hope you enjoy!

::Miss P::

Posted at 05:58 pm by phatgirlie
(2)Laid It Down Extra Sticky

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Sleek

Went through an old journal today, found this and felt like sharing.

I remember the
sleekness
with which you prowled
over me
like a fever
scorching the skin
The clever way
lies
rolled off your tongue
like stray
raindrops
from a leaf
I can still
feel
your rough hands
taking too much
like greedy puppies
on a mothers tit
I remember the
feeling
of being in your arms
after fucking
and feeling as
empty
as the box of
tissues
on my floor
after we said
goodbye

( tt 07.09.00)

Posted at 06:53 pm by phatgirlie
Lay It On Me! Extra Sticky

Friday, June 25, 2004

Mmmmm Friday

Hooray its friday!

For those of you who do not know, i started a new job this week. As i am SO not used to pulling a 9-5 gig m-f its been a big adjustment for me. But its friday hooray! I'm wondering if i am going to get back into the happy hour scene. It's a possibility but i am really not that big of a drinker anymore. A martini here and there a glass of wine every so often but that is about the extent of my deviant alcohol related behavior for the past year or two.

I used to be a barhound. Every weekend for sure i was out boozing it up, and for a time in my very early twenties i was out (in a bar) nearly every night. Guess that comes from living in an area where there is a church or a pub on every corner. Especially in my part of town where its mostly irish families with some polocks sprinkled in for good measure. lucky me i have both heritages as well as some english.

For those of you who are curious about my hump (see below) it is indeed my xbox. Typically if i am not on this thing, i am glued to the couch with a controller in my hand.

I have no other really important things to speak of. So i'll just leave you with this:

Ketchup makes my eggs smile.

::Miss P::

Posted at 06:18 am by phatgirlie
Lay It On Me! Extra Sticky

Thursday, June 24, 2004

kiss

For days i wallowed in your taste
rolling tongue over teeth
to try and stir the flavor

For days i missed your taste
rolling tongue over teeth
to search for remnants of you
Today i tasted you again

I took the which kiss are you quiz from quizilla and here i be:

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I absolutely love kissing. If i could i would kiss all day as long as my partner was just as passionate about it as i.

On the noteworthy entries front: There is nothing noteworthy to report, happy Thursday!

Decided it was quizday ::heh:: Phatgirlie is not yet in the googlism database but here are some of my favorites and very appropriate ones for Terri:

Googlism for: terri

terri is here
terri is having first treatment today
terri is going "tapless" again
terri is a fruitcake song
terri is coming
terri is not in a persistent vegetative state
terri is free and vindicated
terri is loving
terri is still fast asleep
terri is quite intelligent and always studies hard
terri is a very talented flash animator and i highly recommend her services
terri is totally committed to her animals
terri is dedicated
terri is ready 4 bed
terri is spectacular
terri is a fruitcake fruitcake
terri is sexier than anyone I know
terri is backed by some awesome musicians
terri is all dressed up in her yellow dotted swiss dress
terri is the davis applied technology college's
terri is exactly the speaker you're looking for
terri is able to be involved in many different things
terri is in there
terri is an opp
terri is 24(she wishes)
terri is gone
terri is domiciled in pennsylvania
terri is still fighting this terrible disease
terri is a 10
terri is unknowingly snatched into kara's pit of hell
terri is available to meet with you
terri is the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with
terri is a high energy
terri is rightly celebrated for three attributes which distinguish her immediately
terri is hard
terri is just a bitch
terri is this one
terri is outgoing and personable terri is making a play for him

that's it in a nutshell!

Posted at 07:26 pm by phatgirlie
(1)Laid It Down Extra Sticky